The best thing about coming home was, of course, seeing my friends. Another good thing was eating some Western food in a restaurant that employed workers who understood every word I said. I was able to say with confidence, “light dressing, please,” knowing that my Caesar would arrive just the way I wanted it.
Combining the two things makes for a good time so I did just that a few days ago, joining my friends *Donna and *Daniela to a diner called Wimpy’s. It’s a great little diner-dive place with the typical greasy, griddle food fare. We settled in and were enjoying a great meal when Donna dropped a bomb on me.
“Speaking of douchebags,” said Donna in between chews of her club sandwich, “I saw *Josh the other day.”
My heart froze. Most women have had that one disaster of a relationship (usually in their teens when one is dramatic and stupid) that continues to haunt them as they continue into adulthood. Josh was that guy. I went through everything with him: abuse (emotional and physical), drugs (his use, not mine), and police involvement. How I’m alive today is borderline miraculous, but the important thing is I was able to escape the situation.
“Where?” I asked.
Donna waved her hand in the air, “You know, here and there.”
My eyes widened. “Like, all the time?”
“Mostly at Chapters.”
My friend Daniela had seen him too. Josh sightings have been eerily frequent during my adventure to Korea. I shudder to imagine what would happen if I were to run into him now. I like to take moments every now and then to compare that relationship with the one I have now. It’s honestly like comparing Robert Downy Jr.’s former destructive self to his current success. And both stories owe their happy endings to decisions well made.
I met *Chris the first week of my time in Korea. He was one of the three men I initially met during Pool Night. Tall, with an athletic build and long blonde hair kept back with an elastic hair band, he really wasn’t my type. I tend to be drawn to men with dark hair whose artistic, quirky personalities mirrored my own. They usually were considered nerds by society, as I am, and I relished in their geeky habits.
I would find out during Pool Night that Chris came from Tacoma, Washington and his calm, laid-back manner reflected the relaxed West Coast persona one would expect. He loved being active—running was his passion—and was very family oriented. He knew every word of John Denver’s “Country Home,” and idolized Kenny Chesney and the Rascal Flats.
In spite of all this (or perhaps because of all this), I found myself drawn to him and he was the only person I gave my number to that night. Perhaps it was because I’d never met anyone like him before and there was something in him that I’d always wanted in my life. He was a person who hadn’t seemed to have experienced any ugliness in his life and he exuded a warmth one acquires from being raised in a family filled with love.
That same night I met *John, a half-American half-Korean man of 28. He’d been in Korea for 3 years and did not see himself coming back to America any time soon. The ease of his job and the hoards of Korean women available to him made the idea of returning to America less and less appealing the longer he stayed.
John gestured to Chris, “So me and my partner in crime here are heading to a club Friday night. You’re more than welcome to come along.”
I considered his invitation pretty seriously. I really wanted to start making friends and I had no other plans. Unfortunately, I didn’t end up going that night due to my lack of knowledge concerning taxis and where train stations were.
In the meantime, I hung around Raye and Juliet, going shopping, discovering Korea, and planning Saint Patrick’s Day. They were going to a town called Hongdae in Seoul for the event. I realized that Seoul was a massive city filled with dozens of towns each with their own name. Hongdae is popular for their extremely happening night life. Amazing nightclubs play Western music and foreigners swarm by the hundreds to dance the night away.
Sipping wine at a wine bar, Juliet decided to tell me about her friend *Karl. “So cute! But special.”
Special? My interest was piqued. “How so?”
“Well, he absolutely adores musicals. He can sing the entire intro to Little Ship of Horrors.”
“Little Shop of Horrors,” I corrected her. And it was at this point that slight interest turned into genuine intrigue. You see, I enjoy musicals at a nearly unhealthy level. Finding a guy that not only understands that but also shares in that joy is a rare and unique gem.
“Oh, he’d like you,” decided Juliet with a smile. “He’s struck out so much with girls, unfortunately. You may find him a little awkward.”
A little secret here: I love geeks. Big time.
When I met Karl he was everything Juliet had told me and more: cute, insanely into musicals, funny, and a huge nerd. He lived in a town called Ilsan, which was quite a ways away. It took a long bus ride to get there from Cheonan, my town being the very southernmost subway stop in the Seoul line, his town being the northernmost subway stop. I visited him a few times and enjoyed his company, but I couldn’t get Chris out of my mind.
Maybe a lot of my past relationships didn’t work out because they were too much like me. Perhaps I wanted someone to show me another side of life, to balance my passions and interests with completely different tastes and hobbies.
John had a larger than usual apartment with two rooms in addition to his bathroom and kitchen area. Because of this, he liked to host various events at his place. One of these events was a poker night that I decided to attend one evening. Of course, Chris was there too.
Poker, or any kind of gambling for that matter, isn’t really my thing. I’d rather keep my money, thanks. But the game is kind of fun and making friends isn’t too bad either. Chris had some great news: he’d just purchased a scooter to help him get around places. Buying a scooter is one of the best things a guy teaching in Korea could buy. It saves LOADS on gas, gets you places lickity-split, and really impresses the girls.
Like me.
So at the end of the night, when Chris offered anyone who wanted one a ride home, I eagerly accepted. His scooter was awesome and intimidating at the same time—a huge turn on.
“You’re his first passenger, you know,” said John after I mounted. “Make sure he’s careful.”
“O…kay,” I replied a little nervously.
The ride home was great. John’s neighbourhood, Dujeong-dong, is right next to mine so it was literally a 5 minute ride. When we got to my house, I took off Chris’s massive helmet and handed it to him.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said.
He smiled back, “Anytime.”
It was so simple. And Karl was the farthest thing from my mind.
This all happened within the first couple of weeks I was in Korea, which essentially threw out my initial idea of not only not having any friends, but also not falling in love. You can’t come to Korea with any expectations. Everyone’s experience is unique and different with surprises for everybody, both good and bad.
Love works the same way. It often finds you when you’re not looking. I was a little foolish to think I could escape it, flying to the other side of the world. I dated both Karl and Chris for about a week before I chose Chris and dumped Karl—a story which deserves its own blog post. 10 months later, back in Toronto, I speak with Chris very often on Skype. He plans to visit very soon. I’ve got a good feeling our adventures together will continue beyond Korea as I build a new life on this side of the world.
*Names have been changed.
